Sep 25th, 2019.
A couple of weeks ago, I found a few of my old websites archived on The Wayback Machine. These sites were made in the birthing years of the World Wide Web, between 1993 and 1998. It’s been an eye-opener to be able to take a peak back at my thoughts as a young 20-something and to realize that all these years later, not much has changed.
Sure, there’s been growth. I am wiser, I’ve experienced more, I’ve achieved more, I’ve married, had a child, divorced… my ups and downs have been many. But here I am still, an introvert trying to navigate my life while trying to be both noticed and unnoticed. Trying to find balance, looking for a modicum of inner peace, hoping to find a great spiritual meaning in my life, maybe find love again…someone willing to give but a teaspoon of affection to an emotionally starved soul. And so I begin again…
Maybe I’ll blog daily about my experiences, maybe I won’t. Ultimately, the goal is to achieve some personal growth, some perspective. I imagine no one will read this, and that’s okay. As I write this, I do so for me. If no one reads, it’s of little consequence. And if they do, maybe they find strength in knowing that there’s someone else much like them, struggling like them… lonely like them. Somewhere in the middle, the life I imagined and the life I was living took different paths. I’ve always struggled with depression. My divorce sent me into a downward spiral that for a time, I didn’t think I’d escape from. I still haven’t escaped, but there are moments of glimmer, where I see hope up ahead and so I keep trying.
Here’s to 2019/2020. Here’s to new beginnings.
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