Vain Repentance

Alone can
I begin to see
the beginning?
So long I’ve been
holding the decayed hand
of Charon, in dreams
of morbid asphyxiation
in inpatient intercourse
with death, I
ejaculated the universe
into the acid womb
of a succubus. Fingers
splayed upon the face
of God, tearing scabs
off the Messiah, I
slip into convulsions
wallowing in self-
derision, mourning
the blood that no
longer flows and
a shadow
that never changes